mulders:

yeah he’s cute but would he help you get to the heart of a global conspiracy to cover up the existence of extraterrestrial life

(via andrewscottinmypants)

daftlypunk:

i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”

(via andrewscottinmypants)

kaliforhnia:

im lonely and i miss you please come back to me. 

(via seedy)

dulect:

will you still love me when i’m no longer young and image

(via asian)

queefilicious:

sharing an umbrella with someone seems cute but in practice it is 100% horrible and you both end up getting angry and wet

(Source: susemoji, via seedy)